Dissolved, Slight Yaoi!
by KonzenDouji
Summary: everyday, Goku's life is getting weirder and weirder. everyone is acting strange. if there was something he forgot... why wouldn't they tell him what it was?
1. Chapter 01 : Uneasy Feelings

** ALONE -- FANDOM -- FAN FICTION --**

**MY FICS -- DISSOLVED -- CHAPTER _ONE_!**

**Dissolved**

by **Nikki**

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**Chapter One: Uneasy Feelings**

_summary: everyday, Goku's life is getting weirder and weirder. everyone is acting strange. if there was something he forgot... why wouldn't they tell him what it was?_

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We sat there… cold and unsheltered. I stared at the dark grey sky… It seemed as if it would never become bright again. I sighed… My breath was as cold as ice.

I could see it from where I sat… the snowflakes. They were awfully beautiful today. I couldn't believe it… I was missing all this beauty… And now I got to see it – coincidentally. 

I shifted my focus to Sanzo, who was smoking all the while. He didn't seem to mind it that the snow was eating every single bit of green we could even see. But surprisingly… I was happy. Happy that he could keep his normal mood… It was unusual, really… But I liked it.

"We'd better get to sleep, Sanzo." suggested Hakkai, slightly shivering. "Yeah. This place is _cold_." agreed Gojyo. Sanzo sighed. "Fine." he said, then retreated into his tent. It was like… he was disappointed for some reason. But _what…_?

"Go to sleep, Goku…" said Gojyo, while brushing his teeth. He actually called me by my real name. This day was getting much too surprising. But then, I just dreamed myself off to sleep. Weird. _Really_ weird.

The next day wasn't so strange. "Baka zaru! Go catch some fish! I'm hungry!" yelled Gojyo. I stuck out my tongue. "Why should I?!" I yelled back.

"Because Sanzo-sama is hungry." said Gojyo, teasing me. I turned to Sanzo. He was reading. What did _that_ have to do with feeling hungry? "He's not hungry, you bakero!" I said, trying to lighten up Sanzo's mood.

Sanzo grinned. "Catch fish for us, Goku." My face brightened up. "Hai!" I said, at the happiest tone of my voice. Gojyo spit on the floor. "Why do you listen to him?!" he said, nudging my head. I giggled. "Stop that, Gojyo."

Hakkai was just getting up when I decided to go fishing. "I'll come with you. Wait for me." he said, grabbing his bag. It was unusual for Hakkai to go fishing with me… But maybe he had a reason. I felt it.

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I jumped up and down. "Thanks for coming with me, Hakkai…" I said, pulling on his shirt. "No problem…" he said, quite hesitantly. "Sou sou…" I whispered. "…Did anyone ask you to do this?"

He shook his head. "Of course not. And even if they did, I would still go on my own free will… as long as I'm not busy." I nodded. "Okay…"

We were just halfway through the forest when Hakkai spotted a hot spring. "Let's go look there…" he said, not even asking my opinion. But I followed anyway.

"Sugoi!!" I yelled, when I felt the warmth of the spring floating around me… "Sanzo would…" Hakkai interrupted. "Goku."

"…Tell me. What do you see in Sanzo that makes him so special…?"

I raised my eyebrow. "Why do you ask _that_…?" Hakkai walked three steps away, then looked back. "Never mind…" he said, with a smile. I smiled as well. "Whatever…" I said, following Hakkai.

Suddenly, I smelled fresh water. Fresh fish… fruit… trees… I followed the smell. "Goku! _Matte kudasai_ (Wait)!" yelled Hakkai. I stopped for a while, then realized the ice we were stepping on was getting thinner and thinner. I panicked. "HAKKAI! RUN! THE ICE IS GONNA BREAK ANY MINUTE NOW!!!"

But without my notice, I pushed him away from the cracking ice and fell in his place. I felt a billion needles sticking into my skin… Then… without thinking… I fell asleep.

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**** I woke up from my deep sleep. I realized I was in bed… in Sanzo's bed… I looked to my right. Standing there was… SANZO!

"Sanzo! _Gomen nasai_ (I'm sorry)… I'm gonna get outta here now. I'm sorry for sleeping in your bed…"

But just as I attempted to escape, Sanzo pulled my arm. "Tell me…" said Sanzo. "…how can you look up to me that way…?"

I gasped. What was he saying…? I couldn't possibly tell him … because I didn't know _why_ I looked up to him so eagerly.

"Ummm... It's nothing." I said, pulling away from his grip. I quickly grabbed the chance to escape.

I looked back at the tent. He wasn't running after me. He wasn't calling me _baka zaru_ either. Something was changing—and I didn't like it. Everyone was ganging up on me. But… _why_?

The next day, the morning was as gloomy as ever. All of us were quiet, not talking at all. Gojyo and I weren't even arguing and teasing each other.

Hakkai, fortunately, lightened up the situation. "Ehh… why don't we stop by the next town? I heard a festival was going on there."

I took a quick glance at Sanzo, who was reading the newspaper again. "_Mm_, it sounds fine to me. Let's go there."

Hakkai smiled. "Hai, hai!", he said, slightly speeding up. Gojyo was smoking, staring at the snowy sky. He was… _thinking_ of something. For sure. But it was hard to figure out _what_ he was thinking about.  
It was like a day until we got to that town. But it was worth it… there were different kinds of booths. Fruits of every size and shape, colorful banners and decorations, flyers being handed out by pretty girls… Everything was perfect.

"Sanzo… I'm hungry!!" I said, pulling Sanzo's sleeve. He handed me his card. "Do as you like. But don't bother me anymore."

His answer shocked me. It wasn't '_Shut Up_', or… '_Stupid Monkey'_… it was like, I was a person equal to him. Not his so-called 'slave' or 'servant', as he called us. He treated me with respect… for the first time.

Gojyo approached me. "Don't you know why Sanzo and all of us except you are gloomy…?"

I shook my head. He frowned. "Of course you don't. You're a _zaru_." I chased him and pulled his hair. "I'm not a monkey! Stop calling me that!"

Gojyo pulled away. "All right, _idiot_ then." I was silent. There was nothing left to say. Usually those phrases would start an argument, but this time it didn't. Were all of us finally gaining respect for each other…?

Yes, it was good, but… it was strange. Too strange. And I didn't like it a bit… not one bit.

** *by Nikki ^^***

** CHAPTER TWO! ^^**


	2. Chapter 02 : Tear Me Apart

** ALONE -- FANDOM -- FAN FICTION --**

**MY FICS -- DISSOLVED -- CHAPTER _TWO_!**

**Dissolved**

by **Nikki**

oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo

**Chapter Two: Tear Me Apart**

_summary: the group is tearing apart and Goku is left with Sanzo. when Goku apologizes to Sanzo for all the bad things he's done to annoy him. but Sanzo does something that Goku doesn't expect at all..._

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That night we got rooms at an inn. This time, all of us were given separate rooms. We usually slept in pairs… but not today.

We had a really scrumptious dinner, and after that, Sanzo stood up. "I'm… not feeling well. I'll leave now. Excuse me."

I stood up as well. "Is there anything wrong? Do I have to get you something…?"

He grinned. "No. I'm fine. Leave me alone… for tonight." But I insisted. "No, really. What is it you—" "Goku, that's enough." said Hakkai. I sat down.

Sanzo walked away, but turned back, faced me and said… "Sleep well, Goku… You too, Gojyo, Hakkai."

He popped the cigarette into his mouth and continued his walk to his room. All of us were shocked. _Too_ shocked.

Hakkai was the first to stand. "Ehh… I might as well turn in for the night. _Oyasuminasai_."

Same did Gojyo. "_Shimatta_… I'll see you tomorrow, _zaru_. For now I'll get some sleep.", he said, with a sigh.

Soon enough I was the only one left. I cleaned up our dishes, the shopkeeper thanked me for it and I got extra food. I was usually _ very_ excited when I got food… but not this time…

… because for some reason, food seemed boring to me now.

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****

"NANI WOU TENNEN (What in the world are you saying)?!" yelled Gojyo. "I really have to go… there's a lot of important business I must attend to. _Gomen ne_, minna-san…"

"Hakkai, why do you have to go? Your business is with us, right?" I said, hoping he would change his mind. He shook his head. "Sanzo should know why. Now, I should get going."

I pulled his shirt. "_No way_! I won't… I won't let you!"

Sanzo put his hand on my shoulder. "Goku, Hakkai knows what he should do. Trust him."

Gojyo sighed. "Whatever. I just don't know why you have to go." He stormed into his room. I changed my focus on Hakkai.

"I'm sorry, Goku. It was great meeting you. You too, Sanzo. Please tell Gojyo he's been a great friend."

"--but Hakkai…" He smiled at me. "_Sayonara_…"

He left. Hakuryu cried. "It's okay, Hakuryu… you're still his best pet. _Daijoubu_, nothing bad's gonna happen to us." I said, nuzzling his head.

Sanzo popped another cigarette into his mouth. And… surprisingly, without thinking… "Why must you smoke so much?! Isn't it bad for your health?! You're already sick, why don't you stop?!"

He looked shocked. He threw it into the ashtray. "I'll be… in my room." he said, and then walked away.

Everyone was gone again. I was alone again. I cried again. There was nothing I could do. Everyone was acting strange… and I hated it.

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The next day it was Gojyo's turn. "First it's Hakkai then it's you?! What's your problem?? Why are you all leaving?!" I yelled. Sanzo was silent.

"It's not a big deal, _zaru_. Now, go.. go get some food or something." replied Gojyo, as if I was annoying him. But I knew I wasn't. There was something wrong. And I couldn't figure it out.

He walked coolly to the door. He turned back at Sanzo. "We never got along, corrupt monk, but.. it was an honor to work for you. I'll be leaving now. Bye, _zaru_. Bye, Hakuryu."

Hakuryu whimpered, as if he was being hurt. I looked down on the floor. My eyes welled up with tears. I ran to Gojyo and hugged him. I hugged him tight. "Please don't go, I don't want to be alone anymore. I don't want anyone to leave anymore. I want us to be like before again.. come on, steal my food and we'll fight over it.. Drink as much as you want!! PLEASE!!!!!!"

Gojyo pulled away from my hug. I was pushed back. I looked up at him. He put his hand on my head. "Hey.. see you sometime, okay? I'll be going now... Goodbye, Goku."

I fell to my knees. I stared at my tear-sagged hands and pounded them on the floor. "WHY ARE YOU ALL LEAVING?? WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH ALL OF YOU?!?!"

Then... to my surprise...... Sanzo approached me and put his hands on my shoulders. "Goku, I'm still here. You will still be a handful.. so.. don't make it hard for me."

Me? And Sanzo? Going on the journey alone together?? I could think of nothing more disastrous than me and Sanzo being together. I pictured the paper fan being slapped on my head every single minute of the day.. and me whimpering in pain and Sanzo consumed in all his insanity.

I shook my head. "Aren't _you_ leaving me too? Why do you have to take care of me if I'm such a burden on your back? Why don't you just leave me alone to rot on the desert ground?? I know you've been wanting to do that."

Sanzo looked shocked. "...No, I haven't been thinking of that. Stop being so sentimental and pack your things. We're leaving."

I giggled with pleasure. Sanzo was acting normal again. I ran to my room and dumped my stuff into a bag. I stared at the empty paper bag that used to be full of food.. I guess I overate just to forget about my depression.

Sanzo drove the jeep. I was on the back seat. I felt the cool winter wind and the warmth of Sanzo's presence... Who needed Gojyo and Hakkai when he was here? I didn't need them.. I could go on living like this. He could be my.. my dad. Well, my sort-of dad..

But now was time to apologize for everything.

"Sanzo," I said. "I'm sorry.. for everything I've done to annoy you."

The car pulled to a stop. "What the hell are you talking about?" he said, calmly. "I said I was sorry. Sorry for being so annoying to you all the time. Please forgive me."

It was then my heart broke. Sanzo's face changed. His eyes were bright and clear. His skin was no longer pale. He wore a satisfied smile on his face... I felt myself melt in front of him. He looked so... so pleased. "S-Sanzo..? Are you all right?"

His smile widened. "Of course, I am. Now.. let me...." Then there was something I couldn't believe. He stood up from where he sat.. then he put his arms around me in a warm, comfy, heart-melting embrace.

** *by Nikki ^^***

** CHAPTER THREE NOT DONE YET!**


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